@electrolemon: game of thrones is such a cool show. they should make a book out of it. [props a stick under a box to capture all the nerds that respond]
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@InternetHippo: The most realistic part of Harry Potter is how he goes to a school where he learns skills he can't use in the real world.
@Crunk_Jews: Apparently, you still fail a roadside sobriety test if you just lay down and take a nap.
@EndhooS: Cop: can u describe your attacker Me: super aggressive, with a big nose & powerful arms Cop: u just described a seagull Me: he took my chips
@deelizabeth_: Biden: So I got a bunch of balloons and when he gets here-- Obama: Joe, please Biden: --we're gonna rub them on his hair & see what happens