@pleatedjeans: Gangs should do drive-bys with t-shirt guns it'd be less violent & the shirt could say "you suck" so the target still gets the message
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@johnroderick: Planning to edit the three Hobbit movies into one watchable movie. Should I use Instagram or Vine?
@generaldietz: Mark Wahlberg's mom: Marky Mark! It's time for a snacky snacky before you take a nappy nap. Mark Wahlberg: Jesus, mom. I'm 44. What snack?
@4handfuls: Her: What are your passions? Him: Meditating and gourmet food & drinks. Narrator: Which was code for sleeping, Cheez-its, and Capri Suns.