@pleatedjeans: Gangs should do drive-bys with t-shirt guns it'd be less violent & the shirt could say "you suck" so the target still gets the message
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@AimeeHelene1: *rolls grocery cart into open house* Ooh what a lovely lamp! *puts it in cart* An iPad! *crosses iPad off shopping list* *puts it in cart*
@dave_cactus: *watching James Blunt mouth "not you" to me after singing You're Beautiful in concert*
@iwearaonesie: wife: Can we get a kids menu? waitress *brings one* wife me wife me [already doing the maze] wife: Can we get 2 kids menus?