@CakeThrottle: Garfield creator breaks silence to give impassioned speech. "It's pronounced Jarfield" he says through tears
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@ajax06: My favorite thing to say to old people is, "When I was your age I didn't believe in reincarnation either".
@ChaseLori: Only people who've walked into a sliding glass door can laugh when a bird crashes into a window. Everyone else who does it is a racist.
@charliedelta7: I'm having a very hard time believing that money can't buy me happiness. Especially since I'm constantly smiling when I have it.
@bingowings14: As I walk through the valley of the Shadow of Death, I remind myself that you can't always trust Google Maps.