@DamonHunzeker: Gas is so cheap right now, I just buy a new car when I run out.
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@chrislockefun: Clark Kent: Only kryptonite can kill me. Perry: What do you mean? Can't regular things kill you? Clark: Oh shit. Which guy am I right now!?
@Ikea_Monkey_89: When you get angry at someone count out loud to ten. When you get to eight, throw a punch. Nobody expects that shit.
@qwertying: Ladies, if a man says he will fix it, he will. There's no need to remind him every 6 months about it.