@legsandsass: <----- gave a man a heart attack by admitting he was right
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@TheMichaelRock: Helping my 5yo with his homework. Does anyone remember how to write the alphabet? Like with a pencil?
@jasonlight73: After my date orders, I always tell the waiter "Nothing for me..I'll be eating later" Then wink at my date & raise my eyebrows suggestively!
@HlaoRoo: NRA member: I've got guns. I'm in charge. Me: That's nice. I've got bubonic plague - "cough, cough" - now you do, too. I win.
@KateWhineHall: Fun Fact: If you hear small kids running around laughing hysterically, within 2 min. at least one will be on the floor crying hysterically.