@sammyrhodes: Gave my cat some almond milk and now she teaches hot yoga on Thursday nights.
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@nbadag: FRIEND: haha she's so cute—say it for him honey HER TODDLER: the moon is cheeeeese ME: well what have we here, a tiny liar
@AsiaDMO: The worst thing about insomnia is discovering all the new hours of the day that you're hungry.
@Dani_Feld: Relationship status: I shout "PIZZA'S HERE" so the delivery guy doesn't think I'm eating two pizzas by myself.
@LosLos__: Interviewer: Vader says you aren't the Jedi you used to be. What do you have to say to that? Yoda: Ousside Dagobah, cash me.