@ronradu: Gave this artichoke the heimlich maneuver and now he's artiokay.
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@illTortuga: From now on, when you see the word "minimum", good luck trying to not imagine a tiny British mother.
@Rollmaninoz: *Hello this is your pilot speaking, we still have about 9 hours in the air so let me entertain you folks reading you some of my tweets*
@realHamOnWry: [Deathbed Confession] I wish I’d listened to my girlfriend more often. Especially as I crossed the road after she yelled BUS.