@VodkaThursday: Gave up on my dream of being a murderer a long time ago. I leave long hair everywhere & everyone knows its mine without doing a DNA test.
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@Parentpains: "I don't understand the value in seeing a therapist." - People who haven't spent time with me yet.
@liv_thatsme: (Boyfriend reaches for an old Target bag to line the trash can) Me: NOT THE NICE TRASH BAGS
@House_Feminist: Just when I thought we'd avoided all controversial topics at Thanksgiving dinner my niece said Aristocats was better than The Lion King