@ActuallyEmerson: Gay guys don't listen to girls talk either, but we do have the good sense to say "I know, right?!" while we wait for our turn to talk.
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@WilliamAder: Doctor: Have you quit smoking yet? Me: Has there been a string of unsolved murders in the news? Doctor: No. Me: Then, no, I haven't.
@KevinFarzad: Your British accent is so attractive! If we had kids would they have British accents? We should do a scientific test & find out. For science
@VaultsOpen: My 6 year old nephew is legitimately pissed off that there is no actual monkey in the monkey bread.
@Nahdude83: I was making breakfast, then "She's a maniac" came on the radio... Everything is a blur. Why am I so tired? Why am I in this steel factory?