@Kendragarden: Gay marriage is about to become legal in England. Hey, America, how does it feel when your parents are cooler than you?
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@Chumpstring: [cop car jeopardy] Me: confiscated items for $200 Alex: this green p- Me: what is marijuana? Alex: yes Cop: be quiet back there Me & Alex: k
@Stabby_smurf: If I have written a tweet similar to yours, I apologize for your lack of depth and vision.
@chrisscamurra: CASHIER: its declined ME: run it again C: sir, is this one of those fake credit cards they mail out ME: no C: your name is "local resident"?
@semple42: There's this woman in my office who is wearing the same outfit as yesterday and she reeks of tequi......ok it's me.