@ShortSleeveSuit: Gazing at nature's majesty, I am one with the woods. This is where I belong, I muse as I'm drilled with a paintball and promptly eliminated
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@BillFienberg: Whenever my girlfriend and I share a meal, I let her have the first bite because I'm a gentleman. Also, to see if it's been poisoned.
@AbbyHasIssues: *Showing me a picture of your baby* Me: Is that a dog toy in the background? What kind of dog do you have? What's your dog's name?
@4ndBest: Girl dog: I'm into bad boys Guy dog: [remembering his owner saying how much of a good boy he is] ..oh
@GringoBrulee: My first kid will be named Gotham. That way when I have to get up in the middle of the night when they're crying I can say "Gotham needs me"