@Camel_Crushin: Genesis is my favorite rock group who've been around long enough to write a chapter in the bible.
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@ddsmidt: Adulthood is about being able to eat cookies for breakfast, but not doing it because you already ate all the cookies.
@badbanana: There's no sticker warning me not to eat this box of nails so I guess I'll just go for it.
@ebrawley: Hello, I'm waiter, I'll be your Walter tonight. Wait, the other way around. Sorry, first day. Care for a glass of Walter? Ooh boy ok
@kellyoxford: Web MD is like a Choose Your Own Adventure book where the ending is always cancer.