@stephenjmolloy: "Genetically modified food is very much safe for human consumption" the tomato on my plate reassuringly explained to me.
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@iAmDelFreaky: I set up a life size mousetrap in my front yard, but instead of cheese as bait, I used a fedora. Death toll: 17 hipsters and a curious cat.
@PhilJamesson: Bad Cop: The proof is in the pudding. Good Cop: Stop putting all our evidence in pudding. Why do you keep putting our evidence in pudding?
@LuvPug: If Zombies ever switch to eating souls, I'll have the last laugh on everyone whoever made fun of me for being a Ginger