@stephenjmolloy: "Genetically modified food is very much safe for human consumption" the tomato on my plate reassuringly explained to me.
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@iwearaonesie: "you yelled 'this is not my daddy!' when i picked you up to leave the store. you're lucky i let you live" -how dad signs my birthday cards
@noog: God: What's that? Noah: The aquarium God: For what? Noah: The fish God: Fish can survive floods Noah: *kicks llama* YOU SAID EVERY ANIMAL
@1Bad_Scientist: I'm at my most British when she says "teabag me" and I drop a sack of Earl Grey in her mouth.
@Kcamp_95: My boyfriend broke up with because I make too many Linkin Park references, but in the end it doesn't even matter.