@MoistPork: Genius move, Romeo & Juliet, for killing yourselves instead of getting married and spending the rest your lives wanting to kill each other.
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@leechee420: You can be anyone you want on twitter, so I'm a little surprised so many guys chose "creepy weird dude."
@dumbbeezie: When someone tells me they're sick I try to make them feel better with a story about my own sickness that was much worse and many years ago.
@HatfieldAnne: Dinner: I BIT THE INSIDE OF MY MOUTH! IT WILL NEVER HEAL! NOTHING WILL EVER BE RIGHT AGAIN! Next morning: Oh, OK.