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@fro_vo: *gently places finger on caroler's lips*
you had me at "O come"
@DanMentos: [job interview]
“any public speaking experience?”
not since the valedictorian speech in high school
I yelled 'YOU SUCK'
@joeljeffrey: I didnt know how to tell this guy at Home Depot his fly was down... and he didnt know how to say thanks when I tried to help him zip it up.
@david8hughes: [painting a picture of the last supper]
"Was he 1 of Jesus disciples?"
"I dunno, I've only seen the 1st movie."
@ndmckeown: I keep my friends clothes and my enemies toaster.
As a result, they're now all my enemies, but they're naked & having cereal for brekkie.
@veggiefemme: I keep the streets safe at night by staying home.