@webofevil: Genuinely stunned France has adopted the word "wifi" rather than "le signal librement accessible sans l'utilisation de fils" or some shit.
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@SharkJelly: Clark Kent "I have a confession" Lois Lane "what is it?" *Clark removes his glasses* Lois "Is it a bird?" Clark "WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU"
@IamEnidColeslaw: are you a female guitar player with a breathy, annoying voice? congratulations Starbucks will play your music, no questions asked
@AGStr8upNinja: Finding a date on the internet is so much easier than real life because how are they supposed to know that's not your Ferrari?
@HousewifeOfHell: Someday, scientists will capture the energy of eye rolls to produce electricity, and the world will be a cleaner, more sarcastic place.