@ch000ch: [gestures to the parents of a crying baby] shhhh, please. my foot's asleep
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@T_Bonezzz_: My sister let me borrow her newborn baby so I could meet girls at the mall. Worked great! Also, If you've found my nephew Jake, lemme know
@ch000ch: i tried to ask a girl out today but i messed up my words and accidentally summoned a demon. anyway, whats a good first date for a demon
@jackiembouvier: I love my husband. But, what really motivates me to stay married is how much weight I'd have to lose to date again.