@ch000ch: [gestures to the parents of a crying baby] shhhh, please. my foot's asleep
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@jctwritesstuff: [Command Center] *opens map* *traces route* *marks intercept point* *drives* *waits* *target arrives *tackles* Liquor Delivery Guy: Again?
@iwearaonesie: "Oh man, that thing looks irritated" - me, pulling into the airport parking lot and seeing my mother-in-law waiting on the curb
@Rollmaninoz: *walks into starbucks* Me: HEY ANY ASPIRING AUTHORS HERE?? SOMEONE FROM PENGUIN PUBLISHING OUTSIDE!!! *has choice of any table*
@DistractedMomma: Turns out, telemarketers don't like it when 5 year olds answer the phone and tell them princess Ariel stories.