@slimmy_shady: "Get a load of this guy!"- Receptionist at a sperm bank.
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@NYC_Blonde: The only difference between you and Harry Potter is that his magic wand actually works OOOOHHH BURRRRN
@HollyHeals: Ever have the shower curtain touch you unexpectedly and start karate chopping the air?? No, me either.
@crushingbort: "Yesterday you were 3 Chainz and now it's 5 Chainz," Janet cried. "Where does it stop?" 8 Chainz frowned. "14 Chainz doesn't have time for
@slimmy_shady: Retweet if you're naughty! Star if you love Jesus! Reply if you'd like to meet him!