@Nickadoo: Get a tattoo with Chinese symbols that reads, "I don't know. I don't speak Chinese." Wait for people to ask what your tattoo means.
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@XplodingUnicorn: 6-year-old: What if dementors attack our house? Me: They can't get in. 6: Why not? Me: My patronus is a screaming toddler.
@fro_vo: Judge: has the jury reached a verdict Jury: yes your honor Judge: how do you find the defendant Jury: guilty Defendant: SEE YOU IN COURT
@bobvulfov: if ur in a horror movie scenario, a fun way to throw off the ghosts is to put a bed sheet over ur head and say "i too am a spooky ghost"