@Nickadoo: Get a tattoo with Chinese symbols that reads, "I don't know. I don't speak Chinese." Wait for people to ask what your tattoo means.
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@murrman5: [wife replies to text that I found a genie] dont do a thing im almost home [she pulls up and the car from the cars movie is in the driveway]
@ShrinkMedia: My son just got his brown belt in Tae Kwon Do. If you threaten him, he bows respectfully before he runs.
@kevinseccia: I realized I was maybe not the best listener when a friend had to come out to me twice.