@Nickadoo: Get a tattoo with Chinese symbols that reads, "I don't know. I don't speak Chinese." Wait for people to ask what your tattoo means.
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@mountainlex: I'm always surprised when heavily tattooed couples have a baby and it comes out blank
@discoken: I wrote "Clarence sale" instead of "clearance sale" and now there are angry old ladies here looking for a husband.
@_davidlucas_: *Buying flowers* Sales girl: Would you like the receipt? Me: Sure! If they don't work, I'll be bringing them back.