@Nickadoo: Get a tattoo with Chinese symbols that reads, "I don't know. I don't speak Chinese." Wait for people to ask what your tattoo means.
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@sixfootcandy: I only had 3 goals in Monopoly as a kid: Dog game piece Boardwalk and Park Place. Steal your money when you go to the bathroom.
@junejuly12: Maybe the caveman who discovered fire was wearing corduroys and running late for a meeting.
@LADaddy: Keep in mind that "The Cat in the Hat" is a lesson to your kids on how to throw a house party when you're gone...
@withanewname: If Miley doesn't get her shit together, all these Hannah Montana collectibles are never gonna get my kids through college