@torrami: Get an attack dog, name it Anxiety, laugh and laugh and laugh at Anxiety attacks.
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@TJ_TheMenace: Her: Sir, you account has been hacked. Me: Twitter? Her: No. Your Bank acc. Me: Ooooh Thank God.
@amydillon: My kid just locked me out of the house in 95 degree weather, but sure, "it goes by so fast."
@robfee: Sure, I have gluten free Halloween candy for your kid. *Reaches in pocket & pulls out middle finger* Get off my lawn before I call the cops