@cray_at_home_ma: Get married and have kids so that you can be woken up at 4:56 am on a Saturday by someone asking what the opposite of "J" is.
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@MartaEffing: Therapist: You need to focus on setting healthy boundaries. Me: *goes home* *puts broccoli around perimeter of donut box* *eats 12 donuts*
@bonniemcfarlane: My standup has no deeper message and if I find out I’m empowering anyone or anything I’ll quit.