@WeekendTwitr: Get noticed by more companies on LinkedIn by adding af to the end of all of your job titles.
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@TweetingDadGuy: Started to feel bad about my life but just saw a bumper sticker that said "I Love My Grand-dog" and I think l'm going to be ok.
@AndrewNadeau0: My dancing style could best be described as "Frantically trying to pet the ghosts of animals only I can see."
@Howiesbookclub: "Daddy, are we poor?" Compared to the vast majority of humans on earth? No. "Compared to my friends?" Oh yes, sweety. As the very dirt.