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@theydidthemath: Get shit on Ava
@Matt_The_1st: <--- only has 13 problems left.
Turns out, getting divorced cured 86 of em!
@Fred_Delicious: Apparently the rebooted bible will feature a female Jesus, and Moses will be a raccoon
@SortaBad: Fellow Black Friday shopper: I'm so excited! What are you trying to buy?
Me: oh I can't afford anything, I'm hoping to be trampled to death
@KeetPotato: how to beat an egg:
- literally pick any game you want, they dont even have hands
@MJMcKean: I don't know who the pun editor of the NY Post is, but the headline PEACHES' DEATH IS STILL FUZZY deserves a citation and/or beating.