@theydidthemath: Get shit on Ava
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@notacroc: INTERVIEWER: what makes you different? ME: *begins levitating* INTERVIEWER: holy shit ME: *whispering to my pet chameleons* nice work guys
@JennyJohnsonHi5: I'm gonna be upset when HBO starts killing off Sesame Street characters one by one Game Of Thrones style.
@Fred_Delicious: [2 detectives are at a murder scene] "my god Wilkins. Are you thinking what im thinking?" ... "a lasagne driving a car?" "Exactly"
@thatUPSdude: Can't figure out if my dad is defusing a bomb or trying to answer his cell phone. It's tense! "The green one dad, not the Red one!"