@KentWGraham: Get your employees to work harder by “accidentally” leaving articles on the printer about reducing staff.
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@timbolton1: BREAKING: A man who took an airline company to court after losing his luggage has lost his case.
@ShortSleeveSuit: [at hardware store] Me [wiping my mouth]: Waiter I would like another bucket of color soup please Employee: Sir you probably shouldn’t be drinking our paint Me: *tips hat* *passes out*
@kimtopher22: Getting my hair done Monday. Good news for the kids who scream "WITCH" as they pass by my house, bad news for the birds that live in it.
@TheHyyyype: TEACHER: That's the third time this week - please explain your tardiness ME: Well, it basically means that I've been late