@KentWGraham: Get your employees to work harder by “accidentally” leaving articles on the printer about reducing staff.
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@Playing_Dad: Daughter: Daddy, I want to reach out and touch a star Me: Yeah, well, that would incinerate the both of us instantly so I don't think so
@bazecraze: It's only been a few days, but I'm starting to forget everything I knew about Mitch Romley.
@SortaBad: "I'd like to make a large cash deposit" teller: ok, how much do you have? "Wow can't a guy just share his dreams without being pressured?"
@DanMentos: [first date] me: they know me here date: *reading sign on wall* "No Puppetry"? me (proudly): I'm the reason they have that