@notalogin: Get your faces tattooed on each other, so if the wife ever says 'you're a joke' you can say 'the joke's on you' and disarm the situation.
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@juliussharpe: I'll vote for whichever candidate promises to get rid of banner ads that move when you scroll down.
@GrantTanaka: "You know the speed limit here, son?" 45 "You know how fast you were going?" 88 "So where you off to in such a hurry?" 1985
@Vodkantots: It's all fun and games until someone from real life recognizes you and you realize you're too small to drag off the body.