@notalogin: Get your faces tattooed on each other, so if the wife ever says 'you're a joke' you can say 'the joke's on you' and disarm the situation.
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@rotten_mamma: 3:Mommy why do I have to wear a coat, it's not that cold out!? Me:So other Moms don't judge me and talk shit, Buddy.
@klickitatstreet: I'd only marry someone if they seemed like they'd be pretty easygoing during our divorce.
@JaySuch: My son wanted to go to Disney, but I told him little boys who ruin marriages don't go to Disney.
@FilthyRichmond: Fox News reports that President Obama rapped his oath in Arabic while cutting the head off a goat.