@notalogin: Get your faces tattooed on each other, so if the wife ever says 'you're a joke' you can say 'the joke's on you' and disarm the situation.
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@hipchkk: In choosing clinical logic and detached isolation over laughter and passion, you went full-Vulcan. Everyone knows you never go full-Vulcan.
@ninjadinosaur1: It would probably be cool to hang out with a witch because you could bake just the biggest cake in her child sized oven.
@slimmy_shady: When I was having an affair with twins, people used to ask how I told them apart. Well, Sue had brown eyes and Steve had a moustache.