@cookiesnweed: Get your shit together, people at McDonald's drive thru who sit there all confused like the menu hasn't been the same for the last 50 years
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@GuyThe_Guy: Autocorrect just turned "stepdaughter" into "lying manipulative drug addict that lives in the basement and brings dudes in thru the slider"
@KenJennings: Rationally, I now understand that my parents were always Santa, but I still don't get how they made it to all those houses in one night.
@BryMastas: Someday, I wish Twitter will come up with a new & useful feature for once, like a sarcasm indicator for the ones who never get it.