@cookiesnweed: Get your shit together, people at McDonald's drive thru who sit there all confused like the menu hasn't been the same for the last 50 years
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@Parkerlawyer: My husband calls me Sugar and my dog's name is Sugar so when he says, "C'mere Sugar" there's an awkward stare down between me and the dog.
@TheTweetOfGod: Confession: the entire time when I was forming the earth, I was using asteroids.
@CulturedRuffian: No thanks Facebook Live, if I wanted to see people doing stupid things in real time I'd just go visit my family.