@cookiesnweed: Get your shit together, people at McDonald's drive thru who sit there all confused like the menu hasn't been the same for the last 50 years
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@mkpaulsen: I asked my friend if he wanted a drink and he said to surprise him so I brought back a side salad.
@torrami: Rules for being a good neighbor: 1. MIND YOUR OWN GODDAMN BUSINESS 2. Don't forget rule number one.
@jus4golf: Last night I got so drunk I spent an hour apologizing to a tree for saying it's bark was worse than it's bite.