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@elynnbarlow: *Gets divorced*
*Deletes 'actress' from LinkedIn profile*
'miss, it says here that your debt is outstanding'
oh yeah? well i think your debt is pretty cool too
@GensPlace: We took the animals for a walk and saw a sign: 'Dogging area, please control your animal and pick up their faces...'
@audipenny: I noticed that you're still staring at me after I already answered your question, what can we do to stop this
@Taylormatronics: Beyonce should have her own trampoline company.
@lucyworld1: If you weren't supposed to eat 15 Oreos in one sitting, they wouldn't package them in rows of 15.