@Dawn_M_: [gets exhausted after having sex for five minutes] "Go on without me"
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@Kyle_Lippert: Name's Bond. James Bond. *Drinks martini* Jame's Bond. Names Bond. *drinks another martini* Bame's Jond. *Drinks 1 more* THIS IS MY SONG WOO
@_davidlucas_: Daddy! Tell me a story.. The Tooth Fairy is really a wicked witch, who takes all your teeth if you sleep with your mouth open. Good night.
@absolutemeh: A new study finds marijuana users are not more likely to have car accidents. Mostly because they're usually too high to find their cars.