@Dawn_M_: [gets exhausted after having sex for five minutes] "Go on without me"
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@dumbbeezie: I just saw a woman outside sitting alone on a bench and staring at nothing and it made me so sad. I wonder what happened to her phone?
@mishakey: My kid's teacher told me my kid is obsessed with video games and that I need to work with her on it. I'm like I do. I'm player 2.
@LoriGallucci: "Omg, what a cute baby. He's adorable. Makes me want...oh never mind he's crying now bye"
@J0hnnyBlaze: How do girls remember every word of an argument? I don't remember what I had for dinner and I'm eating it now