If bad ads/pop-ups are redirecting you, please take a screenshot and email it to [email protected]. Help us keep the site clean!
@MuhamdIr: *gets in the bus*
*Brings out earphones*
@ArfMeasures: JESUS: And lo, I have fed 5000 of you with 5 fishes and 2 loaves
ME: *slowly raises hand* So do we get dessert or
@iamburtjarvis: british waiter: what topping would ye fancy on yer pizza?
british guy: tea
british waiter: jolly good choice
[both laugh britishingly]
@KeetPotato: [tied up by the mafia]
any last requests?
"yes, let me go"
[still gets killed despite finding a loophole cuz the mafia arent very nice]
@XplodingUnicorn: 4-year-old: What happens when you die?
Me: You go to heaven.
4: No, I mean when you die, do I get your stuff?
@Masquerage: When my twitter crush rt's another girl, a little part of me dies. And so does she.