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@WineMummy: *gets into trouble*
Trouble: Wrong hole.
@RocketRankoon: "What time is it?"
*pulls out phone, checks Twitter, puts phone away*
*Still has no idea what time it is*
@badbanana: If we can put a satellite in orbit around a comet 4 billion miles away, perhaps someday we can put a working wireless printer in my office.
@AlanFelyk: I like to write "made you look" on folded pieces of paper and place them under car windshield wipers in parking lots.
@JonasPolsky: I was about to commit suicide, but then a Nicki Minaj song came on the radio -- so I committed suicide twice.
@flashember: [War of 1812]
American: Let's invade the British North.
Other American: Upper or Lower Canada?