@xysist: * Gets out of a 10 year old coma * Me: Where am I? Dad: GO ASK YOUR MOTHER!
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@omically: saying "we won" after watching a sports game is like saying "we played really well" after watching a concert
@215potter: These Valtrex commercials are confusing... Are herpes a pre-requisite for kayaking and rock climbing?
@0point5twins: STUDENT: what's it like being drunk? TEACHER: see those 6 desks? A drunk person would see 12. STUDENT: there are only 3 desks.