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@Urfavdog: *gets taste of own medicine*
Yep this is my medicine
@fatherofcomedy: Poor superman.he can't go commando without the whole world noticing
@captainkalvis: CUSTOMER: id like buy a turtle, please
CUSTOMER: and make it quick
ME: *grabbing him by the collar* DO I LOOK LIKE GOD TO YOU
@AristotlesNZ: Need hospital etiquette advice. How long should you wait after they pull the plug to ask if you can use the socket to charge your phone?
@distracted_monk: Whenever I see someone crying in public, I figure they won Coldplay tickets.
@WigCannon: "Can I see your ID?"
*lowers them again*
"What are you doing?"
I don't know.