@slimmy_shady: Getting a cat is SO much easier. Go outside. Put cat food out. Pet whatever comes to eat it. Best 30 raccoons I've ever had. Also rabies.
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@LuvPug: If Zombies ever switch to eating souls, I'll have the last laugh on everyone whoever made fun of me for being a Ginger
@andylassner: CNN reporting that CNN will be reporting something on CNN. Tune in to CNN for all of the up-to-the-minute stuff CNN is reporting.
@SkinnerSteven: That old expression: "hold the phone!" doesn't work anymore because everyone is already doing that
@BassoonJokes: RIP that guy in the audience of the eric clapton unplugged session whose head literally exploded when he realized the song was "layla"