@PaperWash: Getting a text from someone when I'm trying to tweet is the emotional equivalent to walking into a spider web.
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@HiddenPinky: How'd you get a black eye? Walked into a door. [Later, another shiner] More doors? *nods* One does not simply walk into more doors.
@McMcmadmac: When my wife got her tongue pierced I asked her why? She said To enhanthe the thektual thimulation.
@AnkCoupleTO: [almost at the moon] Buzz: *explosive diarrhea* DID YOU PUT SOMETHING IN THE TANG, ARMSTRONG? Neil: *steals speech out of his pocket* nope
@Annoyinglyhappy: Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. Then when you criticize,you are a mile away from them & have their shoes