@Scdavis24: Getting back with your ex is like taking a shower and putting back on your dirty underwear.
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@GrantTanaka: sometimes I wonder if Einstein's friends were ever able to say "nice work, Einstein" without sounding sarcastic
@sad_tree: [job interview] "So why do you want to be a jeweler?" ME(thinking about using that eye thing to appraise chicken nuggets): I love rubies
@TheBeerGuy73: A N U S B U T T M U F F ~ My reply when the optometrist asks me to read the lower lines, regardless of what I see