@AndrewNadeau0: {Getting dating advice}
FRIEND: Just be yourself.
ME:
FRIEND:
ME:
FRIEND:
ME: You’ve met me tho—
FRIEND: No, yeah, I heard it as soon as I said it.
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@NoorShamma: Men are from Mars. Women are from Venus. Mars has 2 moons. Venus has no moons. Do you see where I'm getting at? Men, GIVE BACK OUR MOON!
@Darlainky: My friends are fully aware that our designated meeting times are rough estimates.
@Marcmywords2: 72 Hour Deodorant is just another way to say "I haven't bathed in 3 days".
@KrangTNelson: stop saying “newspaper editors are only interested in content that causes a lot of uproar” when we all know that newspaper editors are only interested in pictures of spiderman
@shutupmikeginn: I've had 6 cups of coffee and am about to shave my pet cactus
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