@matt___nelson: [getting escorted out of zoo] "I just wanted to see if the panda knew kung fu like in the movie"
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@carlyken: I leave my vacuum in the middle of the floor at all times so when I have unexpected company I can say I was just about to clean my house.
@a_olivia4212: We have a saying in Germany. It is better to have loved and lost than to engage in a land war with Russia in the winter.
@lejessica: They say treat others how you would like to be treated. Now I have to go out on a date with a guy and treat him like a princess.
@RadOrDie: I bet a lot more people would read the Bible if it was called The Adventures of Jesus and Friends.