@theevilwriter: Getting married lost its appeal as soon as I figured out that acquiring a maid of honor wasn't going to get my floors washed.
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@fricken_jess: Cool story bro, needs more dragons and shit - how Game of Thrones started, probably.
@robfee: Sure, I have gluten free Halloween candy for your kid. *Reaches in pocket & pulls out middle finger* Get off my lawn before I call the cops
@GingerHotDish: Them: So why did you guys get divorced? Did he cheat? Me: We went to Costco on a Saturday.