@theevilwriter: Getting married lost its appeal as soon as I figured out that acquiring a maid of honor wasn't going to get my floors washed.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@eliyudin: I spent so much time bowling as a kid that the first time I fingered a girl I accidentally threw her down the hallway
@behindyourback: The worst is that a 27 y/o who wanted to marry Charles Manson & charge ppl to see his corpse had more of a future financial plan than we do.
@AlexRogaski: Buying In Bulk In theory: Oh good, I'll have enough chips to last all month In reality: I'm gonna eat 5 family size bags of chips tonight