@theevilwriter: Getting married lost its appeal as soon as I figured out that acquiring a maid of honor wasn't going to get my floors washed.
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@JIMBOSWELT: Randomly screaming and moaning in agony is a great way to get a seat by yourself on a packed bus.
@iFluff8: Millions of people are killed every year because they didn't check behind the shower curtain first. Be smart. Peep before you poop.
@Iwriteforcats: Me: How much should I spend on an engagement ring? Jeweler: 3 months salary on the stone. Me: *Duct tapes pile of Fruity Pebbles together.
@ibid78: WHAT DO WE WANT? The ability to ask different questions WHAT DO WE WANT? See this is what we were talking about