@Kendragarden: Getting older is pretty much just paying bills and finally understanding why killers in horror flicks target teenagers.
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@yayraptor: interviewer: what is ur weakness? me: follow up questions interview: care to elaborate? me: [quivers with fear]
@JPHaddadio: They should put a statue of me next to the Statue of Liberty so immigrants know the American Dream is hit or miss.
@stereoskyline: Procrastination has taught me how to do 30 minutes of work in 8 hours and 8 hours of work in 30 minutes.
@StaceyShortcake: Accidentally sent a guy a ;) instead of a :), now one of us is probably pregnant.