@NotSoFastDiet: Getting that beach body is easy. You just have to know where to dig.
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@WittySassBasket: *sharing a box of cereal with the cat* Me: Frosted Lucky Charms Cat: They're magically deliciOH, uh MEOW
@Michael1979: New poster I stuck up at my local train station. I'm looking forward to catching up with everyone.
@CornOnTheGoblin: [leaving a birthday party with my piñata friend] i swear i didn't know they were going to do that "Just take me home"
@Lowenaffchen: Glue a tiny mirror over your driver's license photo so when you hand it to the cops they get confused and start arresting themselves instead