@NotSoFastDiet: Getting that beach body is easy. You just have to know where to dig.
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@TheTweetOfGod: "Al-Qaeda: 'ISIS Goes Too Far'." Ah the Middle East, where al-Qaeda is the voice of moderation.
@SexySillyGrl: You call it nervousness or having the jitters. I call it, I think my body was possessed by a meth addict in detox. Samesies?
@BDGarp: Okay, you got me, I'm not really a gynecologist. What gave it away? Was it the tongue thing?
@daemonic3: [first date] *Ok don't let her know you're a vampire* "Would you like a mint?" *reaches in pocket, pulls out SPF 5,000,000,000* "Dammit"