@NotSoFastDiet: Getting that beach body is easy. You just have to know where to dig.
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@themiltron: Baby Bear: Someone’s been eating my porridge! Mama: That’s wonderful, dear. Papa never eats Mama’s porridge anymore. Papa: Jesus, Linda...
@HatfieldAnne: With literally no way of knowing if you were cursed by an evil witch as a baby, why would you take a spinning class?
@pseudofauxme: My tombstone will just say "Deactivated." I want people to be afraid that I could come back.