@JohnHilsen: Getting to know someone is a lot like making toast; don't do it in the bathtub.
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@BatBatshitcrazy: My ex mother in law once commented that she wished her son had stayed married to his first wife. Me too, I replied.
@NoFucksWereGave: My teacher was pointing a ruler at me an said, "There's an idiot at the end of this ruler!" I got detention after asking which end.
@lcwf70: You said imagine my life without you... So I closed my eyes & am on a beach with a man who knows how to change a toilet paper roll.