@JohnHilsen: Getting to know someone is a lot like making toast; don't do it in the bathtub.
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@cjwerleman: Vanilla Ice arrested for grand theft. Cops say, "He jumped in the car, slammed on the gas bumper to bumper, the avenue's packed."
@DrDogMD: NURSE: I promise. It's ok. You can come in. MAILMAN (trembling): are..are you sure DR DOG: *locked in his office just going freakin nuts*
@tree_bro: "Tens of Thousands of Ants Killed", reads the headline of Ant Daily newspaper every single day. It is hard to be an ant.
@CoopSoSarc: I hung a horseshoe above the door for goodluck. My wife still came home. Superstitions are stupid.