@JonasPolsky: Getting white carpet installed, then inviting everyone over for a spaghetti sauce and red wine party.
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@mylifesuckers: My kids just connected worlds in Minecraft. So now they can fight in a virtual universe too.
@onion_an: Doctor: Your son is lactose intolerant Me: Oh my god [later that day] Me [runs into field and punches a cow]: That's for inventing milk
@itrevormoore: We don't thank them enough for it, but it was really cool that the Black Eyed Peas realized what they were doing was wrong and stopped.
@carlyken: "It's raining men. Hallelujah." -The lesser known 11th plague that God sent to the Egyptians