@MattMcElaney: GF says my bike helmet looks ridiculous, but I'd rather be "uncool" than fall and crack my head open in the middle of having sex.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@thepatrickwalsh: Tom Cruise has never starred in a movie where his character description didn't include the word "hotshot."
@1CleverGirl1: If Disney movies have taught me anything, it's that the whole ENTIRE world speaks English. Including animals and inanimate objects.
@Donna_McCoy: The dietitian told me peanut butter is healthy if I eat it with something low-calorie, so I chose a spoon.