@MattMcElaney: GF says my bike helmet looks ridiculous, but I'd rather be "uncool" than fall and crack my head open in the middle of having sex.
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@StellaGMaddox: My daughter wrote, "I will see you every day of our lives," on my Mother's Day card, so I guess we've resorted to threats now.
@girl_a_whirl: All I'm saying is if you've ever seen me put patio furniture covers on, you'd NEVER ask me to put a condom on.
@OhNoSheTwitnt: My coworker has inspirational quotes up in her cubicle and one of them says "choose your destiny" so I guess she plays Mortal Kombat too.