@MatCro: GF: Sue at the bra shop said u got some lingerie
ME: …
G: Only u didn't give it to me
M: [nervously adjusting thong] I'm having an affair
![GF: Sue at the bra shop said u got some lingerie
ME: …
G: Only u didn’t give it to me
M: [nervously adjusting thong] I’m having an affair](/cache/99028.jpg)
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@animaldrumss: Publisher: Mike we can't accept your children's book. It's far too stupid for even the stupidest child. me: It was supposed to be for adults
@ch000ch: [pours a bag of sugar over a tire fire] hmmm [tastes remnants] i think i'll call it... Twizzlers
@SocialustGal13: If I meet Captain Crunch I'm going to punch him in the roof of the mouth.
@mommy_cusses: *Husband using Ouija board after I've died* Please answer me *arrow moves* "It's on the top shelf. Right there. RIGHT THERE! Use your eyes!"
@NoChillPosts: SMART AF
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