@DamonHunzeker: Ghosts wear sheets because nobody's scared of sleeping bags.
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@Jason_Horton: People are so fake how can you love your newborn baby when you met it like 2 minutes ago and don't know anything about it
@Playing_Dad: HOT SINGLES IN YOUR AREA ARE HIDING BEHIND THE CORNER. THEY ARE GOING TO JUMP OUT AND TAKE YOUR PHONE, WALLET AND PURSE.
@Ygrene: [On the phone with the police for the 7th time in 2 weeks] "Sir, again, we cannot arrest your cat"
@Manda_like_wine: 7yo: "Who's singing this?" Me: "Franz Ferdinand." 7yo: "But, he died in 1914." Me: