@mrjohntofu: Gift cards are another way of saying, don't spend this on dope.
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@matt___nelson: "Hey can you take our picture?" ME: yea sure *takes picture* ME: wait sorry, The Flash was turned on THE FLASH: *blushing in the background*
@Carbosly: You say "save the date", I hear "more time to come up with an excuse of why I'm not going."
@ElgatoEsmio: "Babe I'm ready for bed" "Why so early its the weekend?" [background] "Next up Channel 6 News reveals Ashley Madison's local business men"
@ArielBen6: Ebola has been in the US for 1 day and people are already wearing masks. AIDS has been here for 55 years and fools still don't use a condom