@moose_chocolate: Girl, are you a homeless horse? Because you look unstable.
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@SirEviscerate: [Coca-Cola focus group 1892] *everyone screams, throwing chairs through the window, trying to kill God* CHEMIST: maybe slightly less cocaine
@iwearaonesie: [movie theater] *reaches into wife's purse* *pulls out lasagna* me: Told you it'd work
@juneohara65: "And to my heirs, I will leave all this...." *gestures toward 146 half-full nail polishes, all roughly the same color