@notalogin: Girl are you a prescription from my doctor 'cause you might be good for me but I can't read you at all.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@HatfieldAnne: Tell me again how I unloaded the dishwasher too loudly when you were watching golf. Detectives will want to know exactly how this went down.
@BadMikeyBad: I may be weird, but everyone needs a buddy who will show up at 2 a.m. and help get the dead zebra out of the septic tank without judging you
@Playing_Dad: Boss: Did you bring the reports? Me: Hold on. *reaches into pockets and pulls out two middle fingers* Boss: I resign. You're the boss now.