@mattytalks: Girl are you a University of Phoenix degree because I'm pursuing you online and from my couch
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@simoncholland: Letting the grocery bagger bring my groceries out sounds nice but I can't handle trying to remember where I parked in front of a stranger.
@AddledPixie: I just want to be important enough that someone unexpectedly puts a cup of coffee in my hand, which I gratefully accept with only a nod.
@markleggett: Whenever a woman tells me that she just wants to have a good time and sleep with me, I say "You can only pick one."