@JohnHilsen: Girl, are you these plates I recently bought from Wal-Mart? Because I just learned that you're not microwave-safe.
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@ColdPetRat: astrology then: I seek the meaning of human life in the stars. astrology now: If Capricorns Were A Type Of Noodle, They Would Be Rigatoni.
@Tmoney68: Isaac Newton was the pride of the family until his great great grandson Fig was born.
@huntigula: WIFE: You know, you're my best friend! Am I your best friend? ME: [subtly exchanges knowing glance with our dog] Of course you are, sweetie
@ohthatbadger: "Just this one more episode." you said, and all the voices in your head laughed and laughed, and slapped their knees.